A bit of a change of pace today on the blog. I want to talk about the expression that I have seen plastered over social media lately - Find what you love and let it kill you. Now before anyone tells me to calm down, I know that no one means this literally but it is an expression I don't feel comfortable with for a few reasons. 

I first started to really think about this saying after watching a TED talk by the writer of Eat Pray Love. If you have a spare 20 minutes I would definitely recommend it - watch here. Basically it refers to creatives and the acceptance of the dark side of being one and techniques on how to avoid it. Personally I think it is tragic that as a society we tend to accept or expect to lose some of the world's greatest people at their own hands. 

After the last year being the crazy ride that it has been I have definitely had some huge highs but it has come with some pretty big lows and sacrifice. What worries me is the conversation around being busy and it's relation to loving what you are doing. Not that long ago I had a conversation with someone where I was explaining how I was feeling extremely exhausted and run down. The response to that was that along the lines of that it is expected I am feeling that way if I am doing what I love and that if I couldn't deal with that then I should look to do something else. This response to me was ridiculous - yes I love what I do but I don't think in any way that means I should be hardly sleeping, anxious, stressed and constantly feeling run down. 

It is the attitude around being busy that really scares me. The amount of conversations I see through social media regarding 'how busy' everyone is, it is so important not to entertain that and feel that if you are not that busy - you aren't trying hard enough or working hard enough. 

As someone who has worked my absolute arse off this year, I have missed out on nearly every social occasion, countless hours of sleep and any time for myself. It is only recently that I have realised it is completely up to me to take those things back into my control. I no longer entertain the idea of staying up till all hours replying to emails, saying yes to work when I am already booked out, taking shit people's comments personally or caring what 78 thousand people think of what I did today. After running myself down this year I have realised it is so important to slow down, breathe & say no. 

Not going to lie - I am definitely not zen yet or even close but at least acknowledging it is a start right?



j x